I am a great seeker of wisdom. Wisdom differs greatly from knowledge. Knowledge is more easily won, wisdom comes through great trials, soul shaping experiences, and for me, long years of living and striving.

I have learned through pain and loss to treasure those nearest to me. I would give everything I own for one minute with my grandmother. I would just love to hear her voice, place my check against hers, and breathe in her wonderful and unique scent. It is only through my acceptance of the wisdom of Jesus Christ that I know I will sit with her in heaven, hold her hand and hear her laugh. It is our hope, all us "crazy" Christians.

So many words are wasted on mostly unimportant things. I want the words I speak to be like little space traveling vehicles that carry love from my heart to those God has placed in my life. I promised Charlie the day he was born that I would live to be at least eighty-four, because no child should loose his grandmother until he is at least thirty years old. That gives me twenty-seven more years to love. This is the goal of my life, love and love alone. God please give me the strength and the years to accomplish this goal.

In the hills we have a saying,

"Sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you."

This week I am feeling a little like the bear is behind me, gaining fast.

I started a new job on Monday. The church I am working for does its weekly worship bulletin on Microsoft Publisher (Vista of course:() I have not used Publisher for at least ten years, so the learning curve seems very steep right now. Besides the fact that I feel "watched" due to being such a newbie, I feel extra dumb to boot. Actually everyone is being wonderful, I just like to be more "on top" of things than I am currently feeling, it'll pass.

Monday was my youngest sister's birthday. Today is my second granddaughter (Pixie's) birthday, tomorrow is my Dad's eightieth birthday, Friday is my niece Jenny's birthday and my cousin and his four very active grand children are coming to stay at our house, and then on Saturday we are all having a huge party for my Dad's birthday. Whew!

Why is it that stuff just comes in big bunches followed by weeks and weeks of ho hum, yawn city?

I just keep remembering that I only have to do things just one at a time. Lord help me to enjoy my life, whether things come up on me in huge waves, or just roll into my life like a soft wave.

Praise God for life, in all its challenges and blessings.

It was inevitable, and yet I am still adjusting to the reality. I got a job! I am officially the new church secretary for Highlands Presbyterian Church. It seemed like such an easy and smooth process, even DD said it seemed like "divine intervention." The Mister got his work hours cut by 20% and I was hired by the church within days.

God is so good, he is good indeed.

Please stop what you are doing and pay heed to the following announcement.

I AM SICK OF POLITICS!

You may now return to your regular programming.

There are just some words that scare the dickens out of you. That word today for me is Alzheimer's.

The verse that I am clinging to today is this:

"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24

Lots of folks are "from Kentucky" and I am one of those. My body needs only to cross the invisible plane that hangs in the air above the Ohio River and liberal uses of "Y'all" and a native southern drawl magically reappear. My husband and I once made a hasty journey to Frankfort to get my birth certificate and he told me I was fully "Kentucky conversant" with the sweet records clerk who so graciously met my need to be "certified." I never even noticed the dialect change. It was just like breathing, purely natural.

Our parents grew up in northeastern Kentucky, and left there when Dad entered the ministry in 1958. I was six years old, and obviously a dyed in the wool southerner by then. Our Michigan cousins used to love teasing us about the way we spoke. We used to howl and roll on the floor when we asked them to say "hog" and "dog." You see all our vowels require the adequate amount of time to get said properly. None of this short, clipped speech would do for us. If someone in Kentucky wants to tell you a story (and they all have stories, believe me) then you had better just plan on pullin' up a chair for a spell. It is gonna take some time!


Last weekend we took our parents back to see the those who stayed and lived their lives south of the river. There have been a few sporadic visits over the years when the hectic pace of life allowed. Last weekend we saw too few, spent way too little time with them, and all too soon it was time to travel back across the river and north to home.

It is good to know we come from such solid and God fearing stock. I have missed them, and they love me without seeing me as much as they would like. I wonder what our lives would have been like if we had stayed "south of the river?" Goodness knows.

For the next month or so I will be working in our church office two days each week. Since I spent twenty-five years on the church staff, it seems pretty natural to be there, much like a familiar habit. I enjoy the people, but I have so much to do at home.

There are so many of my Dad's books that still need to to find a home, many little treasures my mom isn't ready to let go of which must be stored in my basement and/or attic space, and all the regular every day chores and tasks that I have grown to love. My dear sister gave me a full cardboard carton of books that need to be read and enjoyed, we have soccer games and birthdays coming, and what on earth are Pepaw and I going to wear as costumes for Maya's birthday/Halloween party?

I surely must not have time for "work" again. I have settled into my life at home, and am at last content with my life. Only a deep abiding love and compassion could have moved me from my nest back out into the world away from my home.

We finally had the mammoth garage sale to try to "finalize" my parents' downsizing move. We spent more than we made, but I think my parents were pleased with the results. My dear husband said he felt like their move was finally over, and now maybe we can at last get his Ford truck back into the garage. Life moves on. Blessed be the Lord.

Yesterday a funeral watch, seated along side loved ones, whose grief was complicated by broken relationship, lost dreams of what should have been.
Today the march of ordinary everyday life- of dirty floors, boxes of memories to be sorted and sold at a weekend sale, wishes for healing of a dear friend.
O Great Giver of Life see me through the contrasts, the highs and lows, the gifts received and the hopes lost. Stand beside me as I live this day for You. Amen.

Added to Things I Never Thought I Would Do

Watch the Home Shopping Network with my mom who is watching the Home Shopping Network while she talks to me by cell phone about stuff they are selling. It was actually kind of fun:)

There Is A Fountain

It turns out that the lovely flowing waters on our front sidewalk are on our side of the pipes. I felt that "Oh no" feeling right down to my shoes. I called DH at work to share the bad news and he insisted that I call the folks we have purchased homeowner repair type insurance from and see if we were covered.

Yeah! We are covered. I had just chosen to increase our coverage last month, reluctantly due to our financial pinch. Although expected, the jump in our natural gas bill last month gave me a huge jolt, but now I am so glad I went for the full coverage.

Now I just have to keep praying that out beautiful maple tree (the most likely culprit in causing the pipe problem) will not have to be taken down during the repair.

Question: What do you do when you see water bubbling up underneath the main water connection located in the sidewalk in front of your house?

Answer: You start praying the leak is on the "city's" side.

Today is just a normal Monday. I am enjoying doing laundry, cleaning, and making lists of chores for the week. It seems it has been a while since our lives felt at all "normal."

Dear husband and I are making a list of chores that need to be done at our house. I am making fewer trips to my folks house, and I am trying to feather our nest for a change. We would like to get our yard and flower gardens into better shape, hopefully to enjoy a little more of their beauty before the cold weather hits. We are trying to decide how to store my dad's books and preparing for a garage sale at the end of the month. There is great joy in purging, as I am finding out.

Hurrah for normal!

"O Love that wilt not let me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee;

I give thee back the life I owe, that in thine ocean's depths its flow may richer, fuller be."

Matheson/Peace, The Methodist Hymnal

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"This is the air I breathe, this is the air I breathe,

Your Holy Presence living in me.

And I, I'm desperate for You.

And I, I'm lost without You.

This is my daily bread, this is my daily bread,

Your very Word, spoken to me.

And I, I'm desperate for You.

And I, I'm lost without You."

Michael W. Smith

"Rock of Ages,cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee."

Tomorrow the long awaited weekend of moving begins. Final boxes must be packed. Sixty years of life and memories sorted and stuffed into cardboard boxes. I have learned that stuff is not stuff when memory begins to fade. It morphs into an anchor, a sign post, and trail marker that can take you back to a sweeter place in time and somehow fill a disquieted spirit with calm.

So we will try to work the miracle. We'll smile and encourage and ooh and ah over new places, new things, less space to clean, less clutter to manage.

We'll rest assured in a God who never leaves us or forsakes us, but goes ahead of us into new places. Thanks be to God.

We are a family that loves to quote movie lines to one another. My kids have many of their favorite movies memorized, and the first one I can remember hearing them quote a lot was "The Princess Bride."

"Inconceivable!" "He's been mostly dead all day." "As you wish."

If you've never seen the movie this sounds like meaningless drivel aired by certifiable nut burgers. Usually we don't care if other folks don't get it. We love crazy lines from "The Breakfast Club," "The Godfather," and on and on.

In the movie "Mixed Nuts" Madeline Kahn's character tells Rita Wilson's character that she could see the "bright side of the plague." There are just some of us who just keep looking for the "bright side," most especially those of us who are "nuts."

Life can make you crazy. You can laugh or you can cry. I highly recommend both, simultaneously if possible. Remember those unforgettable words of Dolly Parton in "Steel Magnolias."

"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."
Words to live by.

Saturday is moving day for my parents. It has been a rough and winding road to get this far. Everyone is worn out. It isn't as if the busy lives of my siblings and their families have been suspended...jobs must still be worked, papers written, children moved to colleges, life to be lived across two states has gone on, as it well should.

If only we knew that this was the right choice. All of us are still not sure that we are making the correct move. There are so many unknowns, and so many what ifs.

I know so clearly now why Solomon chose wisdom over riches. I feel the weight of not knowing so heavy on my shoulders. I pray for wisdom, for patience, for courage, and for strength. God has never failed us, and I know He will not fail us now.

Some of the challenges in my life make me feel like a limp, wrung out dishrag. I am too dry and parched to do any good any where, and I need to be immersed in the Word, to bathe in the Spirit, to be refreshed and renewed so that I have usefulness again.

Fill me up, Father God. Wash me clean, and saturate all my fibers with your love and peace and strength. It is good to know that I can come to you and be filled, over and over. Amen.

Dear husband reminded me that I would knee drop anyone who threatened our grand babies. Guess I am not such a peace lover after all:)

Families are interesting and complicated. Everyone has their role to play, and sometimes those assigned roles (or assumed, not sure which) can carry on for decades. God help me, I am the "peacemaker."

I stink at confrontation. Pretty much I am the family wimp. I sort of stand back and let other people be the dragon slayers. I just mop up the blood, stitch up the wounds, and bake everyone cookies after the battle has been fought. I am no warrior. I listen to everyone, and can truly feel their pain, even if I am not sure they are always "right." Pain and loss make people a little crazy, and everyone needs someone to tell them that it is going to be okay. That is one of my best things. I say that a lot. I actually believe it too.

Sometimes I do wonder if I am playing the role that God chose for me, or the one I feel safest playing. Is God nudging me closer to the front lines? Or am I still needed in the tents caring for the wounded?

Fifty-seven is entirely too old to indulge in such self-examination. I think I'll go bake some cookies.